Sons of Anarchy (FX) Sept. 7
Nikita (CW) Sept. 9
Vampire Diaries (CW) Sept. 9
Venture Bros. (AS) Sept. 12
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX) Sept. 16
The League (FX) Sept. 16
Boardwalk Empire (HBO) Sept. 19
Chuck (NBC) Sept. 20
Event (NBC) Sept. 20
Hawaii Five-0 (CBS) Sept. 20
Undercovers (NBC) Sept. 22
Community (NBC) Sept. 23
Fringe (Fox) Sept. 23
Office (NBC) Sept. 23
Shit My Dad Says (CBS) Sept. 23
30 Rock (NBC) Sept. 23
Smallville (CW) Sept. 24
Supernatural (CW) Sept. 24
Saturday Night Live (NBC) Sept. 25
Bored to Death (HBO) Sept. 26
Dexter (Showtime) Sept. 26
Eastbound & Down (HBO) Sept. 26
Family Guy (Fox) Sept. 26
Simpsons (Fox) Sept. 26
No Ordinary Family (ABC) Sept. 28
Sanctuary (Syfy) Sept. 28
Stargate Universe (Syfy) Sept. 28
Human Target (Fox) Oct. 1
Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret (IFC) Oct. 1
Walking Dead (AMC) Oct. 31

MONDAY

8pm          ABC         Dancing with the Stars
8pm          FOX         House
8pm          NBC         Heroes (Chuck at midseason)
8pm          CBS          How I Met Your Mother
8pm          CW           Gossip Girl
8:30pm   CBS          Accidentally on Purpose
9pm          FOX         Lie to Me (24 at midseason)
9pm          NBC         Trauma
9pm          CBS          Two and a Half Men
9pm          CW           One Tree Hill
9:30pm   CBS          The Big Bang Theory
10pm       ABC         Castle
10pm       CBS          CSI Miami

TUESDAY

8pm          ABC         Shark Tank
8pm          NBC        The Biggest Loser
8pm          CBS          NCIS
8pm          CW           90210
9pm          ABC         Dancing with the Stars Results
9pm          FOX         So You Think You Can Dance (Past Life at midseason)
9pm          CBS          NCIS: Los Angeles
9pm          CW           Melrose Place
10pm       ABC         The Forgotten
10pm       CBS          The Good Wife

WEDNESDAY

8pm          ABC         Hank
8pm          FOX         So You Think You Can Dance Results (American Idol at midseason)
8pm          NBC         Parenthood
8pm          CBS          New Adventures of Old Christine
8pm          CW           America’s Next Top Model
8:30pm   ABC         The Middle
8:30pm   CBS           Gary Unmarried
9pm          ABC          Modern Family
9pm          FOX          Glee (spring) (Human Target in January)
9pm          NBC          Law & Order: SVU
9pm          CBS           Criminal Minds
9pm          CW            The Beautiful Life
9:30pm   ABC          Cougar Town
10pm       ABC          Eastwick
10pm       CBS           CSI: NY

THURSDAY

8pm          ABC         Flash Forward
8pm          FOX         Bones
8pm          NBC         SNL Weekend Update Thursday
8pm          CBS          Survivor
8pm          CW           Vampire Diaries
8:30pm   NBC         Parks & Recreation
9pm          ABC         Grey’s Anatomy
9pm          FOX         Fringe
9pm          NBC        The Office
9pm          CBS          CSI
9pm          CW           Supernatural
9:30pm   NBC        Community (30 Rock at midseason)
10pm       ABC         Private Practice
10pm       CBS          The Mentalist

FRIDAY

8pm          ABC         Supernanny
8pm          FOX         Brothers
8pm          NBC         Law & Order
8pm          CBS          Ghost Whisperer
8pm          CW           Smallville
8:30pm   FOX         ‘Til Death
9pm          ABC         Ugly Betty
9pm          FOX          Dollhouse
9pm          NBC          Southland
9pm          CBS           Medium (yup, it moved to CBS)
9pm          CW            America’s Next Top Model Repeat
10pm       ABC          20/20
10pm       CBS           Numb3rs

SATURDAY

8pm          ABC         Saturday Night College Football
8pm          FOX         COPS
8pm          NBC         Dateline NBC
8pm          CBS          Crime Drama Repeat
9pm          FOX        America’s Most Wanted
9pm          NBC        Trauma rerun
9pm          CBS         Crime Drama Repeat
10pm       NBC         Law & Order: SVU rerun
10pm       CBS          48 Hours

SUNDAY

8pm          ABC         Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
8pm          FOX         The Simpsons
8pm          CBS          The Amazing Race
8:20pm   NBC         NBC Sunday Night Football
8:30pm   FOX         The Cleveland Show
9pm          ABC         Desperate Housewives
9pm          FOX         Family Guy
9pm          CBS          Three Rivers
9:30pm   FOX        American Dad
10pm       ABC         Brothers & Sisters
10pm       CBS          Cold Case

Wow. Until midseason when new shows like “V” and old favorites like “Lost” show up, that’s not much for sci-fi/genre/fantasy television on the major networks this year. If I discount the sitcoms, that gives us 9 shows in the Fall.

Perhaps cable will deliver some good stuff? AMC, TNT, SyFy, BBCA, Showtime, Adult Swim, HBO? What do they have for us? Fingers crossed!

photo credit: BlackHawkTraffic
photo credit: idovermani

Got any insights on what happened on Lost? What do you hope for from Fringe next year? Any shows we neglect that you’re really enjoying? Chime in here. If there’s anything particularly clever, we may mention it on the podcast and would of course give you full credit for whatever you write.

photo credit: Jezlyn26
photo credit: watchwithkristin

Monday, April 27
Chuck (NBC), 8 p.m.
Heroes (NBC), 9 p.m.

Friday, May 8
Dollhouse (Fox), 9:01 p.m.

Tuesday,  May 12
Fringe (Fox), 9 p.m.
Cupid (ABC), 10 p.m.

Wednesday,  May 13
Lost (ABC), 9 p.m.

Thursday, May 14
Smallville (CW), 8 p.m.
Parks and Recreation (NBC), 8:30 p.m.
The Office (NBC), 9 p.m.
Supernatural (CW), 9 p.m.
30 Rock (NBC), 9:30 p.m.

Friday,  May 15
Ghost Whisperer (CBS), 8 p.m.
Prison Break (Fox), 9 p.m.

Sunday, May 17
The Simpsons (Fox), 8 p.m.
Family Guy (Fox), 9 p.m.

Monday,  May 18
24 (Fox), 8 p.m.
How I Met Your Mother (CBS), 8:30 p.m.

Tuesday, May 26
Reaper (CW), 8 p.m.

Monday, June 1
Medium (NBC), 10 p.m.

Thursday, July 2
Harper’s Island (CBS), 10 p.m.

Time to start looking ahead at what there is this summer!

“Barack is president! You are black, Stanley!”

Dwight’s punishment in all of this? His title as “Safety Man” is stripped after a laughable meeting at corporate. It’s revealed that if Stanley doesn’t learn how to deal with his stress, he’s going to die from it. As the new Safety Officer, Michael decides to have a CPR class in response to Stanley’s heart attack. Everything goes as expected in the office, including a song and dance. That is until Dwight decides to perform surgery on the dummy and wear its face. Again, chastised minimally at corporate.

Throughout the entire episode, Jim, Pam, and Andy are watching a pirated movie, starring Jack Black, about some creepy relationship between him and some great grandmother. It’s pretty gross. However, at the same time, Pam’s parents are separating. Jim and Pam speak in code to discuss things at work and in front of Andy, who thinks they’re talking about the movie and investigating it deeply and intensely.

Dwight gets back to the office and is forced to apologize and get everyone to sign the paper. Typical Dwight is horrible at admitting when he’s wrong, so everyone refuses. But this is Dwight, and he has his ways. He’ll get those signatures. In the meantime, Michael decides to hold a stress relief meeting, because that seems to be the biggest threat in his narrow vision. Unfortunately for Michael, he discovers that he’s actually the cause of everyone’s stress. In the vein of his funny bone, he decides to respond with a Roast, and he’ll be the Roastee. Michael has no idea what beast he is about to unleash.

He finds out soon enough, as the Roast becomes everything you’d expect. Everyone tears him down. Even Dwight. It’s completely unrelenting. Gradually, we see Michael’s spirit crushed, hitting it’s lowest point when Andy finishes the Roast with a song. Andy passes the torch to Michael, who is expected to thank everyone and turn the roasting on them. Instead, he gets choked up and creeps away, tail between his legs.

The next day, Michael doesn’t show up to work. He takes a “personnel” day in order to reflect on his life and feed the birds. Even though we’ve seen Michael broken and torn up before, he has a moment which makes me feel unbelievably sympathetic. He relates a story he frequently likes to think to himself in order to get perspective, about a spaceman who doesn’t care about the worlds and people of distant stars. But this spaceman can sympathize with Michael, because he has a powerful microscope and can see Michael’s face. A face that is obviously sad. Michael looks up and proclaims, “I’m okay!” Immediately he drops his head, pauses, and says, “No, I’m not.” Even though we and the characters of the office think Michael is a doofus and borderline retarded, and even though he asked to be roasted, watching him sitting there, belittled… he didn’t deserve that.

Earlier, Pam asked Jim to have a talk with her father and try to help him figure out his problems. After the talk, he decided he was going to divorce Pam’s mother. This put a strain on Pam and Jim’s relationship, as Jim was confused as to what he had done, and Pam was worried if what her father realized was the same thing Jim would ultimately come to in their relationship. So, Pam has a talk with her father in the parking lot as Jim wearily watches from inside the office. Pam hugs her father and departs. Jim meets her in the hallway and asks if it was his fault. It was. But in a good way.

“When you’re a kid, you assume your parents are soul mates. My kids are going to be right about that.”

Michael finally gets into the office, and people try to apologize, but he’ll have none of that. Instead, he has some thoughts he’d like to share. He wrote them down.

“Jim, you’re 6′ 11″ and you weigh 90 lbs. Gumbi has a better body than you. Boom. Roasted. Dwight, you’re a kiss-ass. Boom. Roasted. Pam, you failed art school? Boom. Roasted. Meridith, you’ve slept with so many guys, you’re beginning to look like one. Boom. Roasted. Kevin, I can’t decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom. Roasted. Creed, your teeth called, your breathe stinks. Boom. Roasted. Angela. Where’s Angela? Oh there you are. I couldn’t see you behind that grain of rice. Boom. Roasted. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex, and your heart sucks. Boom. Roasted. Oscar… haha… you’re gay! Andy, Cornell called. They think you suck. And you’re gayer than Oscar! Boom. Roasted.”

And he finishes his speech as if it were the night before. Like a pro and a true sport. This episode started out fantastically and held on all the way to the end. I don’t know if it was because they saved everything gold for after the Super Bowl, if it was the hour length, or if all the pieces just fit perfectly. I’ve heard people compare it to the energy of Season 2, and I’d say that’s pretty accurate. The directing and editing is fantastic in this episode. There’s amazing silliness and a great balance of drama interwoven. Definitely one of the best.

5 out of 5 Dwigt Foreheads

That said, the debate is pretty hilarious, as we see people going back and forth on the topic, upsetting the strangely equal sides.

“She looks like a monster.”

Word, Kev. WORD.

Simultaneously, Michael and Dwight go undercover to infiltrate a small company, Prince Family Paper. As if they are the smartest men on Earth, they proudly concoct some very simple backstories as to what they will be doing. Michael will be a potential buyer and Dwight will try to get hired. Michael will be scouting for prices and Dwight will be scouting for information about their salaries and employee count. Afterwards, they are to meet at the pinko eatery, IHOP.

Prince Family Paper is composed of a few people. The Prince family. They’re very, very nice and accommodating, which makes things very easy. Michael is able to get an entire customer list from the owner and manager, which is like winning the jackpot. However, Michael is a lot like them. He views his own employees as family. After making things very weird and awkward, only in a way the dynamic duo can, they get back to the office, list in hand. Michael is too torn, but decides to take sympathy on the company and destroy the document. Dwight will not have any of this. So, he chases Michael around for literally five minutes before ripping the paper out of his hands. Michael doesn’t want to be a shark. He makes everything personal. That is until he finds out that it all ultimately benefits his wallet.

“Well guess who’s stock just went up, Golden Boy?”

This episode isn’t that strong. Michael does a lot of what we’ve seen him do. The Hillary Swank debate is pretty funny, but not half an hour funny, and it comes to a disappointing conclusion. The best thing about it is that we get a great amount of Kevin, which never stops amusing me.

3 out of 5 Dwigt Foreheads.

Meanwhile, Jim is forced to act that mediator, since Michael is in New York being questioned by David Wallace. What about? Even in these hard economic times, the Scranton branch is still succeeding in turning a profit. They actually have the best sales. So, David makes it his goal to accommodate Michael in any way in order to squeeze out any bit of information. Easier said than done. This story goes nowhere, but it’s pretty hilarious watching David struggle to get any sort of advice or information from Michael.

Back to Jim. One of his biggest flaws is his fear of confrontation. He’s passive aggressive, clever, and condescending, but when someone gets in his face or there’s a threat of violence, his immediate reaction is to freeze up like a deer in headlights. For the time being, he takes a backseat, mostly, and lets things play out. Good thing to, because we’re served up with the greatest challenge to a duel of all time. One that can only be achieved with a high five.

Angela, being in a situation where not only one man surprisingly wants her, but two, allows the duel to occur and will accept the results. Jim quickly rounds up all of Dwight’s hidden weapons – an arsenal that would make Deadpool jealous. Look it up. However, Dwight is resourceful and he strides valiantly to the parking lot with belt in hand, flailing it around like nunchaku. Andy is nowhere to be seen. There’s a letter on the nearby bushes. While Dwight is reading it, Andy surprise attacks him with his Prius, lodging Dwight’s foot between the car and the parking median. They proceed to argue with one another while the rest of the office watches from upstairs, far from “danger.” Angela is gobbling it up from a distance.

Then, an interesting thing occurs. Andy breaks down a little and questions everything about Angela’s choices. How could she do this to him? How could she be sleeping with Dwight this entire time and only have sex with Andy twice. Wait, what? They’ve had sex? Dwight is as confused as us. More importantly, he has been lied to. This is much worse than euthanizing a cat or deceiving someone with a fake-fake marriage.

And so Angela’s juggling falls apart. Neither of them want her. Least of all, Dwight, who makes the strongest gesture he can.

This episode was very surprising. The love triangle had been going on far too long and I didn’t think that any sort of climax or explosion on Andy’s part could have made up for it. And while this situation has occurs many times in many sitcoms, the fallout was different and refreshing. And nothing could have made a bigger impact than the desecration of the ultimate icon of Dwight and Angela’s love – a bobble-head in his image.

5 out of 5 Dwigt Foreheads

“I am a black belt in gift wrapping.”

Phyllis is still the party planner and this Christmas is her first time in charge of it all as she plans a Moroccan Nights party that’ll rival your Moroccan grandmother’s. As lady in charge, her first priority is bullying Angela, even if that means desecrating the Christian meaning of Christmas.

Even though Jim had the first laugh in the beginning of the episode, Dwight will have his time to shine. He’s researched the biggest toy craze of this season and has bought every single Princess Unicorn in town. To which he will then sell them at an enormous profit.

The party starts off swimmingly. Everyone takes off their shoes and kicks back. Especially Meridith. When doesn’t she? Andy get’s a hold of a sitar and jams about naked ladies. Angela serves everyone the alcohol she herself wouldn’t touch. Michael flaunts his one single talent of making delicious booze. Creed smokes some hookah. Kevin gets a hold of some drums. And Dwight starts rolling in the dough. Good times all around.

“Fa-la-la-la-lah La-la-kachinggg.”

Everything is so good that it’s possibly the best party the office has ever had. Well it would have been if Meridith didn’t end up setting her hair on fire. Thankfully, Dwight was there to save the day, but now Michael has a bigger problem. He sees that he has to finally do something about Meridith’s drinking problem. His solution is to have an intervention that same day. Kevin lays down his funniest line ever and we’re off to a great start. Unfortunately, the rest isn’t so great, because Meridith refuses to acknowledge what everyone else sees, and Michael doesn’t do the greatest job in trying to show her the err of her ways, even though his heart is in the right place. Eventually he gets fed up with not only her cooperation, but the lack of cooperation for the rest of the group as they disperse. So, he pulls her into his office.

Last week we saw how Pam and Oscar were totally different than when we first were introduced to them. Now, Phyllis is the strong, domineering type as Angela as become the broken, timid one. Angela begs for mercy and Phyllis quickly points out how Angela never showed her mercy in the years past. That quickly shuts her up and puts her back to work.

After nearly an hour alone in Michael’s office, Meridith and Michael head out. While she is going downstairs, Michael asks Toby for the number to the rehab clinic. Toby obliges and Michael throws the pen in his face. In the car, Meridith apparently thinks they are headed to a bar, but Michael has obviously has different plans, even though she has no clue.

Toby has some plans too. His daughter needs to have a (sold out) Princess Unicorn. Luckily for him, Dwight has a stockpile. Or not. Unfortunately, Darryl nabs the last one at the last possible second. Toby can’t have that. He needs the doll and (in tears) begs Darryl to let him buy it off him. Finally, Darryl sets a steep price of $400 and Toby has won himself his daughters love and ex-wife’s disgrace. Kind of.

Michael and Meridith finally get to the rehab center, and Meridith freaks out. She fights for her life to get away from him, but thankfully she’s too drunk to put up much of a struggle. Eventually, Michael drags her in, but just as quickly leaves. People have to willingly go to rehab, unless they are forced to by law. Michael has only one choice. Push Meridith to hit rock bottom.

Phyllis needs the Christmas tree back up and goes to Angela. Angela informs her that it’s outside, but Phyllis doesn’t care. Angela has had too much. She doesn’t care what Phyllis does and challenges her. Phyllis cowers and goes to get the tree. Angela has one this one and walks away triumpantly. But that’s not all. Phyllis has a change of mind and turns around at the right moment and reveals the truth to everyone in the office, with the exception of Michael, Meridith, and of course Andy. “Angela’s having sex with Dwight.”

The episode was pretty hilarious, but a little too serious at moments. The flow was great at first, but I feel that it was overweighted by Meridith’s situation and Phyllis’ final reveal at the end didn’t have as much impact or climax as I would have liked, probably because Andy wasn’t there. I just want to see his reaction to his discovery of the truth and I feel it’s taking too long to resolve.
4 and out of 5 Dwigt Foreheads.

Oscar wisely suggests a copier. A great idea, until Michael announces it to the entire office and Pam interjects with her own suggestion of new chairs. Things get interesting as the office takes sides. Especially when Jim opts for the copier. Everyone is surprised as they were sure he was the pantless one in the relationship.  Pam isn’t too pleased with his decision either.

“You’re on very dangerous ground.”

Meanwhile Coward and Andy start going over some frustrating details of the ceremony. Things like strange instructions on where to walk, trenches as restrooms, and the stank of manure masking the stank of animal blood. Gradually, we see Coward getting more an more angry with Dwight. He’s trying to ruin everything, and somehow she didn’t see this coming. Right…

The feud between Coward and Dwight rages on throughout the episode, as Andy’s rage is continuously put to the test. He needs this to work, or else his “deposit” is going to wasted and he may just kill everyone if that happens.

Pam tries to explain why she wants the chairs to Michael. He was supposed to give her his old chair when he got a new one, but that never happened. Oscar interrupts the conversation and invites Michael out to lunch with him. Michael, being the desperate sap he is, grabs opportunity by the hand. Jim puts on a super happy face to join in and it becomes a real party. So they’re off, leaving Pam to think about what she’s gotten herself into. But Pam isn’t going down without a fight. It’s on.

The three new best buds get back from lunch, laughing up a riot, probably over something neither Jim or Oscar would find funny, ever. Jim has brought some Tiramisu back as a no-hard-feelings sort of gift. Pam ain’t having it. She’s all gussied up and ready for her turn with Michael. Using her wily womanly ways (say that five times fast), she compliments Michael and flirts with him in order to present her side of the argument. It’s all pretty embarrassingly low, albeit valid. However, her argument is finally put to the test as she goes to make some copies. Jim watches on, but eventually she makes it happen.

Everyone joins in on the brown nosing, and Michael sucks it all up. It fulfills his wildest dreams to be the center of the office and everyone seemingly enjoys it.

At Schrute Farms, Dwight presents the area that the horrifying couple will finally tie the knot. Dwight suggests that Andy pose as Cowards father and walk her down the isle, while Dwight takes Andy’s position as they are wed by a Pastor that only speaks Deutsch. Coward loves everything, right down to the part where Dwight plays the groom and places a twine ring on her finger.

Hank, the office security guard, is invited up by Michael. Michael uses Hank as an impartial judge to figure out what to do. Whatever he decides will be the final decision. Everyone watches on as Hank takes in both arguments, then tests out the objects in question. Taking his time, he concludes that he needs to take a look at the copier again. Michael dismisses him. He can’t be bothered.

Angela takes Dwight aside and finally tells him that she made a mistake in picking Andy. Dwight agrees and that’s why he has taken care of everything. The minister was real. They both said “I do.” And Andy wasn’t signing a receipt, he was signing a marriage certificate as a witness to the faux-faux ceremony. He has deceived her again. Angela is disgusted and throws his twine ring back in his face.

Inside Michael’s office, he has called David Wallace and tries to get his opinion, while he chokes on some Tiramisu. David tells him to return the surplus and reveals that if he does, Michael will get 15% of it in return. Oh boy. The only thing worse than Michael making a decision between two equal things is Michael presented with a decision of spending money. And now there’s a third, far more appealing choice thrown into the mix. He can take sides or take the money and run. Finally, he comes to a decision and tells the office they will get neither, because they are spoiled and throw away perfectly good Tiramisu. Oscar catches on to the fact that Michael has found out about the bonus. Obviously, the rest of the office is not happy.

Urkelnomically correct.

The Andy-Angela-Dwight situation is lastly explored when Angela makes out with Andy (and his tuna filled mouth) in front of the entire office and especially Dwight. Then, she is off to take care of a legal issue. Will Angela start treating Andy like a true future spouse? Will she be seen as human again, in my eyes? Is Andy finally going to use his deposit the way he wants? Will Dwight do something even more drastic to win Angela back?

The main players in the copier-chair debacle come together in Michael’s office and force him to make a decision. Instead, Michael lays it on them. Either they come to an agreement or he takes the money. He leaves them to their thoughts, thinking that they will never agree and he will be justified in taking the bonus. His plans are diminished a couple seconds later as Pam and Oscar reach a decision and go with the chairs. Oscar would rather have something than nothing at all. Michael is surprised and not pleased. As usual, he has leaped before he looked.

The strangest part of all of this is that Oscar and Pam, two people who were seen as the weakest, most timid characters in the beginning of the series, are now the leaders of pretty serious decision. Even though Pam is seen as the strong one in this decision, and typically the man of her relationship with Jim, Jim lays down the truth. She got her way, now she can live with the consequences of her decision. She’ll make his copies from now on.

I thought this episode was pretty fantastic. There’s a lot of hilarity. The dynamic and tension between Oscar, Jim and Pam is pretty great and satisfying. Finally, we get some change with Angela, and hopefully things are on the up with how her character is portrayed. Five out of five Dwigt Foreheads.