Monday

Alphas (10 p.m., SyFy) ongoing
Bored To Death (9 p.m., HBO) returns Oct. 10
Terra Nova (8 p.m., Fox) debuts Sept. 26

Tuesday

Ringer (9 p.m., CW) debuts Sept. 13
Sons of Anarchy (10 p.m., FX) ongoing

Wednesday

American Horror Story (10 p.m., FX) debuts Oct. 5
Luther (10 p.m., BBC America) returns Sept. 28

Thursday

Archer (10:30 p.m., FX) returns Sept. 15
Beavis & Butthead (10 p.m., MTV) debuts Oct. 27
Community (8 p.m., NBC) returns Sept. 22
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (10 p.m., FX) returns Sept. 15
Person Of Interest (9 p.m., CBS) debuts Sept. 22
The Secret Circle (9 p.m., CW) debuts Sept. 15
Vampire Diaries (8 p.m., CW) returns Sept. 15

Friday

Chuck (8 p.m., NBC) returns Oct. 21
Fringe (9 p.m., Fox) returns Sept. 23
Grimm (9 p.m., NBC) debuts Oct. 21
Supernatural (9 p.m., CW) returns Sept. 23

Saturday
Doctor Who (9 p.m., BBC America) ongoing

Sunday

Boardwalk Empire (9 p.m., HBO) returns Sept. 25
Breaking Bad (10 p.m., AMC) ongoing
Once Upon A Time (8 p.m., ABC) debuts Oct. 23
The Walking Dead (9 p.m., AMC) returns Oct. 16

The first DVD lands in Japan on February 23, 2011. Still no official word on when they hit the U.S. or how many episodes Jensen and Jared are dubbing. Personally, I don’t know why they would only be doing some but the current reports seem to indicate they will only do 2 or 3 of the 22 episodes.

Sons of Anarchy (FX) Sept. 7
Nikita (CW) Sept. 9
Vampire Diaries (CW) Sept. 9
Venture Bros. (AS) Sept. 12
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX) Sept. 16
The League (FX) Sept. 16
Boardwalk Empire (HBO) Sept. 19
Chuck (NBC) Sept. 20
Event (NBC) Sept. 20
Hawaii Five-0 (CBS) Sept. 20
Undercovers (NBC) Sept. 22
Community (NBC) Sept. 23
Fringe (Fox) Sept. 23
Office (NBC) Sept. 23
Shit My Dad Says (CBS) Sept. 23
30 Rock (NBC) Sept. 23
Smallville (CW) Sept. 24
Supernatural (CW) Sept. 24
Saturday Night Live (NBC) Sept. 25
Bored to Death (HBO) Sept. 26
Dexter (Showtime) Sept. 26
Eastbound & Down (HBO) Sept. 26
Family Guy (Fox) Sept. 26
Simpsons (Fox) Sept. 26
No Ordinary Family (ABC) Sept. 28
Sanctuary (Syfy) Sept. 28
Stargate Universe (Syfy) Sept. 28
Human Target (Fox) Oct. 1
Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret (IFC) Oct. 1
Walking Dead (AMC) Oct. 31

First, the plot summary:

Sam and Dean travel to Wellington, Ohio, where they encounter strangeness they believe attributable to the Trickster, a demi-god who has appeared in at least a few prior episodes – most notably “Mystery Spot” (Season 3, Episode 11). Dean bears a grudge for the way the Trickster killed him over and over and over in that episode, but Sam suggests that the Trickster would be a powerful ally during the apocalypse. They track the Trickster to an abandoned warehouse, but it turns out to be a trap that they walk right into. They find themselves trapped within various television shows in a series of alternate realities orchestrated by the Trickster. Its a setup reminiscent of the 1992 John Ritter movie “Stay Tuned,” only Supernatural does it much better than that movie did. In “Stay Tuned,” Roy Knable (John Ritter) and his wife Helen (Pam Dawber) become trapped inside “Hellvision,” an alternate universe run by Satan consisting of insipid television shows. As described in that movie’s tagline, the pair must survive 24 hours trying to escape a diabolical lineup of inane programming. Sound familiar?

Sam and Dean learn that if they play along, they will move along. They, like Roy and Helen, must survive 24 hours. If they do, then the Trickster will speak to them about their desire to join up and save the world. Part of what makes this episode so special is the breadth and variety of the shows they run through. There’s “Dr. Sexy, MD,” lampooning of Grey’s Anatomy that was so spot-on it caused @shondarhimes (Grey’s creator) to tweet “thought the Supernatural episode was hilarious…” the following day. There was “Nut-cracker!” a Japanese gameshow. There was a fake commercial for Herpexia, a daily Herpes prescription medication. There was a sitcom (indeed, the shows opening credits were even done in the style of a sitcom, complete with an upbeat musical montage featuring lyrics like “together we will face the day/you and I won’t run away/when the demons come out to play”). There was a spoof of CSI (Yeeah!) complete with an internal close-up of a heart being staked. There was even a spoof of Knight Rider, featuring Sam as the voice of the KITT-like Metallicar and a great joke about Dean reaching into his trunk. Just about the only missed opportunity during these segments was the failure to bring Jeffrey Dean Morgan in for a cameo during the Dr. Sexy segment. He played John Winchester on Supernatural and Denny on Grey’s. It would have been fantastic to have him play the part of Johnny Drake (the parody version of Denny in Dr. Sexy), but apparently schedules didn’t work out.

At several different points Castiel appears in an effort to rescue Sam and Dean, but each time the Trickster easily overcomes him and sends him away. (I’ve no idea how Castiel found Sam and Dean, as supposedly their location is hidden from all angels, including Cass, but I digress). Castiel questions whether the Trickster really is the Trickster based upon how powerful he is. It turns out Castiel is right: Sam and Dean eventually recognize that the Trickster is an angel and they escape by trapping him in a ring of holy fire. Trapped, the Trickster admits that he is, and always has been, the archangel Gabriel. Gabriel explains that he has been living undercover on earth because his family is so screwed up. He explains his repeated involvement in Sam and Dean’s life by pointing out to them that he has always known that it will all come down to them. He argues that life is not a television show – there are no easy answers and there will be no bows at the end. It will end bloody. Rather than leaving him trapped, Sam and Dean free Gabriel by setting off the warehouse sprinklers. As they walk away, Dean comments that he wishes it was just a television show. Fin.

Next, the analysis:

One of the things that I love best about Supernatural is that the showrunners are so damn literate. References to various literary works often can be found within episodes provided you look with a discerning eye. The show frequently will take an existing literary property but lovingly twist and fold the source material like some piece of origami until it is something new, original, and uniquely Supernatural. Then, within the episode, credit to the original will be granted via a line of clever dialog. By giving a knowing wink and nod to the source, Supernatural in this way elevates its appropriations to the level of homage. Sometimes the thefts are blatantly obvious because they borrow from sources that have become part of America’s pop-culture zeitgeist (as with Season 4, Episode 3′s “In the Beginning“, which borrowed from Back to the Future, Season 5, Episode 2′s “Good God, Y’All“, which lifted its premise from the classic Twilight Zone episode “The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street“, the aforementioned Mystery Spot episode which played off Groundhog Day, or this episode’s take on “Stay Tuned”). Sometimes the thefts are more subtle because the sources are less well-known (e.g. Fallen Idols, which was a riff on Neil Gaiman’s novel “American Gods” – a bestseller, but nowhere near as familiar to the average viewing audience as would be, say, Back to the Future). And sometimes the source material is so obscure as to be practically invisible.

In this episode, I see shimmers of Tom Stoppard’s “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead.” Stoppard’s play focuses on two of the minor characters of Hamlet. While Shakespeare gave Rosencrantz and Guildenstern hardly any stage time at all, they serve as the ill-fated protagonists of Stoppard’s work. If you didn’t read the play back in high school, I strongly encourage you to pick it up. It is extremely entertaining. Of course, to maximize your enjoyment of it you should first read Hamlet, and I don’t know anyone that would call reading Hamlet “extremely entertaining,” at least these days. If you’re not going to slog through Hamlet and then read Stoppard, then at least take the easy way out and read the Wikipedia synopsis. In Supernatural‘s retelling, Sam and Dean are set up as the equivalents of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern while the Trickster is The Player. It may be simply a matter of the show exploring themes similar to those explored by Stoppard in his play. Or it may be that Kripke and crew have intentionally created a palimpsest – adding one more layer to Stoppard’s work of art (which was itself a piece of metatheatre based upon Shakespeare’s earlier work). I’d like to believe that the parallels to Stoppard’s play are intentional, since it would be awesome if true.

Stoppard’s play is about two characters swept up in the midst of events larger than them. (Think Sam and Dean, swept up in the midst of the angel/demon war). The two characters, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, try to glean the truth by asking questions while revealing as little as possible. They also impersonate other characters in an effort to gain knowledge. (Think Sam and Dean, who in most every episode don disguises and question and interrogate witnesses to various supernatural phenomena). In his play, Stoppard explores the concept of free will versus determinism. Supernatural has been treading similar ground this season with the question of whether Sam and Dean have any real ability to avert the apocalypse: witness, for example, their conversation at the end of Episode 5.04 (“Free to Be You and Me“, a title itself a play on the nature of determinism), where Dean says “So now we make our own future,” and Sam responds “I guess we have no choice.” Does Sam mean that they have no choice but to make their own future, or does he mean that they have no choice because the future is set in stone? This is what the series is investigating as surely as the brothers are investigating the supernatural.

In Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, the Player leads a troupe that seems able only to put on plays involving bloodbaths. The Trickster, himself no stranger to bloodbaths, wants all the fighting to end. He is tired of seeing his siblings battle. He left town during the first battle (Lucifer’s great Fall) and is disgusted now to see history repeating itself but acknowledges that the apocalypse is invitable. He doesn’t care who wins; he just wants it to be over. In the play, the Player similarly tells Rosencrantz and Guildenstern that all paths end in death. This provokes an angered Guildenstern into stabbing the Player to death. The Player falls dead in dramatic fashion, but a few moments later stands up and brushes himself off, revealing he was only acting out his death scene. This is very reminiscent of Sam and Dean’s apparent dispatching of the Trickster: they stab him during the CSI spoof, but it is revealed after the commercial break that the Trickster was only feigning his death. The next morning, Dean believes that he is having a “morning after” wrap-up conversation with Sam but Sam is nowhere to be found. He heads outside and finds that Sam is now KITT from Knight Rider, or at least a Metallicar version of KITT. Sam surmises from within the dashboard, “I don’t think we killed the Trickster.” Its the same essential setup as Rosencrantz and Guildenstern’s interaction with the Player.

Perhaps most significantly in terms of the comparison, Supernatural and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead share in common a certain “play-within-a-play” aspect known as metatheatre. In the latter, the characters Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are fictionalized within a play they watch called “The Murder of Gonzago,” which features characters resembling them. Compare this to Supernatural, where Sam and Dean (and we, the audience) learn from the Trickster that they are essentially metaphorical extensions of Lucifer and Michael. “Michael, the big brother loyal to an absent father, versus Lucifer, the little brother, rebellious of Daddy’s plan.” The Trickster lays it out in a way that is hit-your-head/why-didn’t-I-see-it-sooner obvious. He’s right on target: Sam is not just Lucifer’s vessel. Dean is not just Michael’s vessel. They are themselves metaphorical representations of Lucifer and Michael. The Trickster elucidates, paraphrasing Mat. 6:10, “as it is in heaven, so must it be on earth.”

If Supernatural is intentionally riffing on Stoppard, then bringing it to the forefront in this particular episode — which features Sam and Dean bouncing from one fictional television show to another — is inspired, since Stoppard’s story similarly involves Rosencrantz and Guildenstern bumbling through the fictional world of William Shakespeare’s “Hamlet” while questioning the reality of their surroundings and wondering if there may be supernatural forces at play. (Near the play’s opening, Guildenstern suggests that they may be “within un-, sub- or supernatural forces”). Thinking back, I believe that a case can be made that the series as a whole (or at least this season) has been paralleling Stoppard’s work in many ways. All in all, it’s a brilliant setup deftly executed by the show runners. Regardless of whether the allusions to Stoppard’s play are intentional or not, I’m thrilled to be along for the ride.

In case you couldn’t tell, I liked this episode. I give it 5 Metallicars.

Next time: a comparative analysis of Supernatural and Waiting for Godot.

(Just kidding, though I do think a case can be made…)

The premise of the instant episode is that Sam and Dean attend the first annual Supernatural convention and hijinx ensue. The convention is honoring the collected works of its featured guest, novelist Carver Edlund (known to us from prior episodes as the prophet Chuck Shurley, whose character I very much enjoy). Sam and Dean rush to the Pineview Hotel, the site of the convention, operating under the belief that they have been summoned there by Chuck as a matter of life-and-death. They find Chuck out front and quickly discern that Chuck did not text them. Rather, his cell phone was appropriated by superfan Becky. Becky first appeared in the first episode of this season, Sympathy for the Devil. I didn’t like her then, and I don’t like her now. I tried to analyze my feelings toward her in the review for that episode, and I’ll explore them further herein.

Sam and Dean enter the hotel and see a Supernatural convention is underway. Cosplayers abound. Azazel, Bobby, Ash, and various Sams and Deans are everywhere. The con coordinator announces the day’s schedule, which includes events like:

3:45 – Frightened Little Boy: The Secret Life of Dean
4:30 – The Homoerotic Subtext of Supernatural
7:00 – The Big Hunt

It is this last, The Big Hunt, that occupies the majority of the episode. The Big Hunt is a LARP (Live Action Role Playing) experience. The prize at stake is a $50 gift certificate to Sizzler. A slew of Sams and Deans, including our “real” ones, are briefed on the “situation” (the hotel, a former orphanage, is now haunted by the ghost of headmistress Letitia Gore and her charges) and off they go on their hunt.

Of course, the hotel actually does prove to be haunted. Alex, a lone LARPER, encounters one of the children and then suffers a beatdown at the hands of the ghost of the headmistress. The encounter with the child was spooky-awesome (the ghost says only “Help us – Miss Gore won’t let us have any fun”), but the subsequent physical encounter with Miss Gore herself is too much for Alex. He bolts. On his way out he relates his experience and Sam and Dean overhear. They are now on the case for real.

Sam and Dean bribe the hotel clerk for the real scoop, which turns out to be substantially the same as the LARP backstory. The clerk explains that, in 1909, Letitia Gore went crazy and killed the four children and then herself. Since that time, there have been occasional sightings of their ghosts. This is the 100th anniversary of the event. The clerk advises them to check the attic and so that is where they head.

In the attic, Sam and Dean encounter the ghost of a scalped boy who talks about his mother (presumably Miss Gore) loving him “this much.” Meanwhile, Fake Sam and Fake Dean (two of the LARPers) are on a parallel quest, doing their own investigation. They, too, encounter a real ghost of a boy. They ask where to find Letitia’s bones, and the ghost points at a picture on a nearby wall. They remove the picture and find, inside its frame, an old map detailing the location of the local graveyard. As soon as Sam and Dean see that Fake Sam and Fake Dean have a real map, the two pair team up. They join forces despite Dean’s protestations that the fans “are friggin’ annoying.”

Sam and Dean LARP Rufus and Bobby, but they aren’t into it and before long Dean blows up at Fake Sam and Fake Dean, saying that Sam and Dean’s lives are not there for the amusement of others. To this, Fake Dean reminds Dean that in fact they are, since Sam and Dean are just fictional characters.

Before long, the four men find the graveyard. Fake Sam and Fake Dean freak when Sam and Dean start exhuming Letitia Gore’s grave. They feel that Sam and Dean are taking the Hunt too far. When the ghost of Letitia Gore arrives and attacks, they become believers and gain respect for Sam and Dean. Since Letitia Gore is dispatched at the 30 minute mark of the episode, it is obvious that there must be a twist yet to come.

Sam and Dean return to the hotel with Fake Sam and Fake Dean. They tried to leave but discover that the hotel is locked and nobody can get out. They then encounter the scalped boy from the attic, who tells them that Letitia didn’t scalp him — it was the other three boys. The boys are evil, and Letitia’s ghost had been keeping them in check. As if on cue, the three naughty boys appear and kill one of the cosplayers, a german fan that looks distractingly like Jim Carrey in “Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events.”

Sam and Dean round everyone up and keep them in the basement, with Chuck keeping them busy. Sam and Dean salt the doors, bunkering in. They realize that they cannot burn the bones of the boys because they are trapped in the hotel, so they enlist one of the cosplayers, a fake Letitia Gore, in an attempt to trick the young ghosts. They also employ the assistance of Fake Sam and Fake Dean, who agree to help despite being frightened “because that’s what Sam and Dean would do.”

Fake Letitia calls the boys to her, and two of the three evil ones appear. Her attempt to scold the boys into submission fails when her cellphone rings and they realize she is an imposter. Fortunately, by this time Fake Sam and Fake Dean have found the graves of these same two boys. (What happened to the whole “we’re trapped inside the hotel” thing? Was it just Sam and Dean that were trapped? How did Fake Sam and Fake Dean get to the graveyard, and if they could go why couldn’t Sam and Dean?). Anyhow, Fake Sam and Fake Dean burn the bones just in time. The ghosts burn just as they were about to scalp the real Sam and Dean.

Meanwhile, the third of the three evil spirits appears at the convention hall. He is dispelled by a quick-acting Chuck, who slices through him with a microphone stand. The only problem with this is that (1) microphone stands aren’t iron, so it shouldn’t have had any effect, and (2) even if it was iron, iron only temporarily dispells ghosts. This is well-established in Supernatural, including within this episode. So where did the third boy go? It is never revealed. Fake Sam and Fake Dean only burned two sets of bones, though, and so this third ghost is presumably a loose end, as is the scalped boy’s ghost.

The horror over, the next morning Sam and Dean thank Fake Sam and Fake Dean for their assistance. Fake Sam and Fake Dean reveal their names to be Barnes and Damien (a bit of fan service there – Barnes and Damien are the names of the Supernatural recap writer and a mod over at Television Without Pity). Fake Dean explains to Dean that Supernatural is great because “we have normal lives that suck. We get to live vicariously through these fantastic books.” (Paraphrasing there, but that’s the gist of it).

While Dean is listening to how great Supernatural is, Sam is off to the side conversing with Chuck and Becky. Apropos of nothing, Becky gives Sam a hot lead on the location of the Colt: when Bella stole the mystical gun, she did not give it to Lilith as she had claimed. Instead, she gave it to Lilith’s right-hand man and possible lover, Crowley. Sam and Dean drive off, their quest for the Colt revitalized with this piece of new information.

The real reason for this episode was not to tell the story of Letitia Gore, of course, it was just to provide a backdrop for the episode’s primary purpose: making fun of its fans. As a fan, I found myself a little offended. It reminded me of that classic Shatner SNL skit, only I felt like I was one of the fans in the audience being told to “Get a life!”

I know I’m going to be in the minority, but for that reason I didn’t particularly care for this episode. I was even a little put off by it. (I love Supernatural, generally, so this is definitely the exception to the rule for me). While I have no problem when Supernatural lampoons itself, or makes fun of other shows (as they do with their Ghostfacers parody of Ghost Hunters), I do take some umbrage when they make fun of their fans. I think it is one thing for fans to make fun of themselves, but it is another for a show to be the one doing so. I’m not a ghost hunter, so I enjoy the Ghostfacer episodes. But I am a fan, and so I cringe when the show mocks fans. It comes off as condescending, even though I know it is supposed to be good-natured. Across the web, I’ve seen very few other people take this view. Most, in fact, seem to view the episode as something of a “love letter” from Kripke to his fans. If it is a love letter, then I argue it is tough love. I’d shudder to read one of his poison-pen missives. The episode certainly is a love letter to the show itself, but I question whether it is one to the fans, as well.

While I understand that the portrayal of the fans doesn’t fall far from the mark, and while I recognize that the fans weren’t necessarily portrayed in a bad light (well, at least sort of), and while some of the humor really was funny, when I laughed it was kind of in an uncomfortable “I’m laughing, even though I know the joke is on me” sort of way. I saw the episode not so much as fan service but more as fan dis-service. I think the episode was a commentary on fandom, and specifically Supernatural fandom. The only question, for me, would be whether the show was casting the fans in a positive light or a negative one. I’d argue that the principal Fake Sam and Dean of this episode were portrayed positively, but Becky is a pretty negative depiction. However, I’m very open to being convinced otherwise.

I’m trying to understand why I feel the way I do about the episode, so I’d really welcome the opportunity to engage any readers in dialog, down below in the comments section. The best I can come up to explain my feelings is: (1) I consider myself a fan of the show; (2) I wasn’t comfortable looking in the mirror the show held up; (3) therefore, I didn’t care for the episode. Using a different metaphor: I’ve never really liked any caricatures I’ve had drawn of myself, although I can appreciate the artistry behind them. I appreciated this episode, but I didn’t like the caricature it painted of me as a fan. I suspect the more accurate you feel the portrayal of the fans is, the less you may feel like the show was poking fun?

The episode featured a whole row of parked Metallicars, but I’m only going to give it 2.

“People imagine, and people believe: and it is that belief, that rock-solid belief, that makes things happen” – American Gods (Neil Gaiman)

The central conceit of Neil Gaman’s 2001 novel “American Gods” is that gods and other supernatural beings owe their very existence to the belief of mankind. Gaiman’s book explores how gods’ powers wax and wane along with the strength of people’s belief in them. As society has marched through time, the gods of old have diminished in power as society’s new obsessions (media, drugs, celebrities, technology) have replaced them. Supernatural series creator Eric Kripke (in a commentary for a season four episode) has acknowledged Gaiman, and particularly “American Gods” as an influence on Supernatural. Nowhere is this more evident than in the Season Five episode “Fallen Idols.” The episode is more of a bottle episode than we’ve been getting of late, and it serves as a nice diversion away from the main story arc. In many ways, it is reminiscent of the type of monster-of-the-week episodes that predominated during the show’s first and second seasons. While it is a standalone, and is a funny one at that (similar in tone to “Wishing Well”), it still manages to pack in quite a bit of action, and gore, and brotherly angst and love.

The episode opens within a five-car garage in Canton, Ohio. Cal Hopkins and his friend Jim Grossman have an excess of disposable income and a love for collectible autos. Cal reveals to his friend Jim that he has finally located “Little Bastard,” James Dean’s race car. Cal gets in the car while Jim goes for a camcorder to document the moment. Jim returns to find Cal dead; head halfway-impaled on broken windshield glass. When Sam and Dean hear of this, they decide to check it out as a dry-run of sorts: even though the Apocalypse is nigh, Dean tells Sam that they must get their groove back and that the detour to Ohio to investigate what may be a “monster of the week” is an important one. We learn from their discussion that three weeks have passed since the last episode. Three weeks of fruitless searching for the Colt.

Upon arriving in Canton, Sam and Dean interview the local lawman, Sheriff Carnegie, who insists that there is a rational explanation for Cal’s death – his friend Jim must have been on drugs and killed him[1]. Sam and Dean don’t buy this for a moment. They interview Jim. Jim mentions the car was “Little Bastard” and Dean can hardly contain himself. However, when Sam and Dean check the car out, Sam traces the chain of title and determines it to be merely a replica.

Meanwhile, later that night, Professor William Hill, an aficionado of Abraham Lincoln, is alone in his study when he suddenly finds himself confronted by what appears to be the angry ghost of Lincoln himself. Professor Hill dies, messily, shot in the head just as was Lincoln himself. Despite the fact that no gun was recovered, no bullet was found, and there was no gunpowder residue to be found, Sheriff Carnegie remains convinced that there is a rational explanation for this crime: Professor Hill was taken out by a professional killer. Consuela, the late Professor’s maid, disagrees: she ID’s Abraham Lincoln for the crime.

The plot thickens when, back at their motel, Dean reviews Jim’s video from the night of Cal’s death and he spots what appears to be the reflection of James Dean off of one of the car’s hubcaps. Sam and Dean theorize that they are dealing with famous ghosts that are ganking their own fans. The question becomes “why is this happening in Canton, Ohio?” To answer the question, the next day the brothers head to the Canton Wax Museum, where they pose as travel reporters and interview the museum’s lonely proprietor. After acknowledging that both Cal and Professor Hill were regular visitors, the proprietor explains that the museum is unique because it uses real artifacts in its displays: Lincoln’s hat, Gandhi’s bifocals, James Dean’s keychain, FDR’s iron lung, and more.

That night, while Sam is out at the Metallicar prepping guns for some ghost busting, Dean calls Bobby. Sam overhears Dean disparaging him to Bobby. Sam confronts Dean about this, realizing that their peace is perhaps uneasier than he thought. They set their differences aside and head back to the wax museum. At the museum, they separate. While apart, Sam gets jumped by Gandhi. Gandhi grapples with Sam. Sam is saved in the nick of time by Dean, who torches Gandhi’s bifocals. Gandhi vanishes, but not with the typical fanfare of a vanquished ghost. Dean teases Sam about being a fan of Gandhi.

The next morning, while packing up, Sam questions the manner of Gandhi’s departure. He also ponders why Gandhi would have tried biting him, since Gandhi was a fruitarian. Sam and Dean again spar. This time, Sam wins. Sam argues that they cannot go back to what they had before, because what they had before did not work: Sam argues that Dean must let him grow up. Just then, Sam and Dean receive a call from Sheriff Carnegie. Finally, the Sheriff appears to be at a loss for a rational explanation as he tells the brothers that two girls are now claiming to have been attacked by none other than Paris Hilton. Their friend, Danielle, was abducted by Paris, they say. Since Paris Hilton is not deceased, the boys realize they must not be dealing with a ghost.

Sam reviews Cal and the Professor’s cases. He autopsies Cal and finds two odd stone-like seeds in Cal’s stomach. Sam searches the “Global Seed Bank,” looking up a listing of seeds categorized by appearance, and determines the seeds in question to be buergeranun procerae, from an extremely rare plant found only in eastern Europe. The site notes that a few such seeds were found preserved in a farmer’s seed bag found by scientists at an unusual worship site. Subsequent research was halted due to a freakish accident which killed the entire scientific research team. The plant blooms once a year, at midnight, and Slavic lore sites it as a magical plant. Sam tells Dean that these seeds were from a particular forest in the Balkans that was deforested some 30 years prior. That forest was guarded by a pagan god named Leshii[2]. Leshii, Sam tells Dean, is a trickster god. He can take on infinite forms and is appeased only by the blood of his worshippers. He drains his worshippers of blood, and then stuffs their stomach with seeds. Conveniently, the site explains that Leshii may be killed if decapitated with an iron axe.

Leshii is a woodland spirit in Slavic mythology who protects wild animals and forests. Leshii, as were many pagan gods, was demonized by the Christian Church and lent demonic features by the Church. Originally, he was an embodiment of the forest itself. In fact, his name comes from the word “les,” the slavic word for forest. In eastern European mythology, Leshii often manifests as a tall peasant wearing shoes on the wrong feet. Occasionally he is described as having green eyes, pale skin, wings, a tail, black hair, hooves and horns, or some combination of the above. His described appearance varies throughout various legends, but what remains consistent is the idea that he is a shape-shifter, able change both his shape and his size. Leshii would imitate voices, tricking forest wanderers. The best way to defeat Leshii was to turn clothing inside out and backwards, and to switch up shoes. Leshii could also be appeased by food offerings. None of this is really explored in depth in the episode.

Their heads replete with Leshii lore, Sam and Dean head back to the wax museum. It is now officially after-hours and the museum is even more deserted than it was during the day. Essentially, this just means that the proprietor is gone. The boys head back into the “closed for renovations” section. Before long, they find abductee Danielle tied up to a tree, barely alive. Out of nowhere, Paris Hilton appears. Preternaturally strong, and a good boxer, she fights both Sam and Dean and gets the better of them both. They are knocked out. When they awaken, they too are tied to trees. Leshii, in the form of Paris Hilton, begins to monologue. Leshii explains that in the old days he was adored, but then his forest was cut down to make way for a Yugo factory. Since then, he’s been wandering the earth, scrounging for scraps. When he realized it was the apocalypse, he decided to take advantage and pig out. He found the wax museum, where adoring fans stroll right through the door. Even though they don’t idolize him, particularly, Leshii says he’ll take what he can get. Leshii conveys a certain disgust at the debased state of modern day religion.

Dean argues that Leshii cannot kill him, because Leshii is in the form of Paris Hilton and Dean does not worship Paris. To turn to a different form, Leshii must touch an item belonging to that other idolized person. Leshii’s answer to this is that Dean worshipped his father, John Winchester, and that the iron axe the boys brought in was owned by John. Leshii goes for the axe but is stopped by Dean, who breaks free just in time. Sam breaks free shortly thereafter. He grabs the axe and beheads Paris/Leshii while Dean is struggling with her.

The next morning, Sam and Dean prepare to leave town. At their car, the boys reconcile once again. They agree that they will go down fighting, even if Sam is on deck for the Devil and Dean for Michael, with no changing fate, they will still fight. In an effort to show that fences have been mended, Dean offers to let Sam drive.

While I really enjoyed the episode, I do question Kripke’s choice of Paris Hilton. He is using her the way Gaiman used a fat, socially awkward young man as the embodiment of the god of technology; representative of America’s new religion. Where Gaiman focused on technology, media, and the like, Kripke appears to be saying that pop celebrity is America’s new religion. Paris actually monologues on this at the episode’s end. As Leshii (in the form of Paris) opines, people today are in a sorry state, where celebrity worship passes for idolatry. Celebrities are nothing more than people with spray tans and small dogs; old time religion has been replaced by US Weekly. It is essentially the same point that Gaiman makes in his New York Times bestseller. But is Paris Hilton really the best spokesperson to make the point? To my mind, her fame waned several years ago already. She’s already been replaced in the fickle mind of Americans by newer and greater objects of pop culture obsession. Maybe it’s just that Paris Hilton became the de facto best choice for the episode because she was game to actually appear in it as herself. Or maybe the fact that her celebrity is on the wane actually plays to Kripke’s point – even the new Gods don’t stay new for very long, these days.

This episode had a bit of everything, ably mixing horror and humor in the adept way Supernatural somehow routinely carries off with ease. I give it 4 Metallicars.

——–

[1] Apropos of nothing, but just a fun etymological fact you can use the next time you find yourself in the back of a sheriff’s car with nothing to talk about: The word ‘sheriff’ comes from “shire reeve.” Reeves were elected annually by serfs to supervise land for a lord. They took on tax collection and other duties, and generally were responsible to make sure that the lord’s will was respected throughout the shire.

[2] See Giants, Monsters, and Dragons: An Encyclopedia of Folklore,Legend, and Myth, by Carol Rose for more on Leshii.

Then came Supernatural 5.04, “The End,” and I was blown away. Not only was it a great episode on its own, but it also put “Free to Be You and Me” into more context. Ultimately, I think the two episodes are best viewed and reviewed together. 5.03 is a precursor for 5.04 and adeptly sets the stage for it. On its own, I would have rated 5.03 about 3.5 Metallicars. Taken in conjunction with 5.04, I give them a combined average of 5.

“The End” begins with the beginning: The ‘Road So Far’ capsule summary at the episode’s start calls back to incidents early in the show’s history, including the Season Two episode “Croatoan” as well as episodes featuring the Colt, a demon-slaying gun that featured prominently in Supernatural‘s first main story arc. As the episode proper begins, Dean is on his own, walking the streets of Kansas City. He is stopped by an evangelist, who asks him if he has taken the time to think of God’s plan for him, and whether his soul is “rapture-ready.” Dean brushes him off and enters a motel where, road weary, he crashes. Just as he collapses into bed he receives a cell call from Castiel. Castiel tells Dean that if Dean is going to insist on his crazy plan of attempting to kill Lucifer, then they will need the Colt. The Colt’s continued existence comes as news to Dean, who had assumed it destroyed by demons. The conversation between Dean and Castiel is brief but laugh-out-loud funny: when Dean attempts to crack wise, Castiel scolds him, saying in deadpan delivery “This isn’t funny, Dean – the voice says I’m almost out of minutes.” Lending humor to Castiel’s character at the start of this episode continues the progression and humanization of Castiel’s character from the episode prior. At least this time it’s truly funny, and not quite so unwonted. Castiel wants to meet right away, but Dean declines, in need of sleep. They agree to meet in four hours. Dean concludes his conversation with Castiel only to receive a telephone call from Sam. Sam admits to Dean that he has learned that he is Lucifer’s vessel. Sam practically pleads with Dean that they should join up again; not for revenge, but for redemption. Dean declines. Dean explains to his brother that they are stronger when they are apart. Dean is determined to go his own way, abandoning his brother.

Dean lies down in his bed, but when he wakes the following morning he finds himself on a bare box-spring, the hotel room charred and destroyed. He makes his way to the motel window and looks out to see that he apparently has slept through the apocalypse. Buildings are in ruin, cars are strewn across the road, the world looks abandoned. He wanders the street and eventually encounters a young bedraggled girl squatting amidst shards of broken glass. She attacks him, unprovoked, and as he extricates himself he notices the word “Croatoan” scrawled in graffiti on a nearby wall. This is not a good thing: the word is a callback to a second season episode involving what boiled down to Demon germ warfare, where an entire town turned on itself due to a demonic virus presumably similar to one that must have afflicted the colonial town of Roanoke, Virginia. Roanoke vanished with nary a trace but for the word “Croatoan” carved on a fence post[1]. The same word appears on a board in River Grove, the locale for Supernatural’s eponymous episode. While the episode “Croatoan” felt like a bit of a redux of John Carpenter’s “The Thing,” the episode “The End” feels more like “28 Days Later.” Hordes of angry/possessed/afflicted people spot Dean on the street and start running for him. Dean escapes by the skin of his teeth, and only because the horde is dispatched by a nearby contingent of militia out hunting ‘crotes.

Later that night, out exploring, Dean finds a sign, dated August 1, 2014, labeled “Croatoan Virus Hot Zone.” Dean jacks a car. The angel Zachariah manifests in the passenger seat while Dean is driving. Zachariah explains that he was able to locate Dean thanks to the bible freak that accosted Dean at the episode of the beginning. When Castiel took Sam and Dean off the angelic radar courtesy of protective Enochian rib etchings, Zachariah and his crew were forced to resort to alternate means of locating them. Zachariah explains that they enlisted the aid of fringe religious groups, and one informant responded to the BOLO after spotting Dean. Before vanishing, Zachariah explains that it is his plan to have Dean spend three days in the future so that Dean will understand that his choices have consequences.

The following morning, Dean visits Bobby’s home. Bobby is presumably dead; Dean finds only Bobby’s bullet-riddled wheelchair. Stashed in Bobby’s secret hiding spot, Dean finds Bobby’s journal. One of the last entries includes a photo of Bobby, Castiel, and a few others standing at the entry to Camp Chitaqua. They are posing with weapons and seem reasonably happy, it being the apocalypse and all. Dean presumably knows the location of Camp Chitaqua, or is able to find it, because later that night he is there. He sneaks in, finding the rusted hulk of the Metallicar just to the inside of the gate. While mourning its loss, he is clubbed to unconsciousness by… himself. Yes, this episode features Jensen Ackles playing two parts: Dean and FutureDean. Not only does Ackles have the acting chops to pull it off, but the director does an admirable job of not making it too hokey. Rather than lots of sloppy split screen, the episode instead is heavy on quick dirty frame cuts from one Dean to the other. It works quite well and is technically not distracting at all. It flows naturally and is fun to watch.

Dean awakens to find himself in a wooden lodge, cuffed, a prisoner. FutureDean begins interrogating Dean. FutureDean ultimately accepts that Dean is from 2009. He explains to Dean that the Croatoan virus is the demons’ endgame. It is efficient, uncurable, and scary as Hell. It started hitting major cities two years prior.[2] Asked where Sam is, FutureDean explains that there was a heavyweight showdown in Detroit, and that “Sam didn’t make it.” Dean is taken aback that FutureDean and Sam apparently did not have each other’s backs for the showdown, but FutureDean explains that they had a falling out five years prior and hadn’t spoken since. Presumably, FutureDean is referring to the parting of the ways that happened two episodes prior.

FutureDean leaves Dean cuffed while he goes to run an errand. Dean, of course, promptly escapes. Outside the cabin, Dean runs into Chuck. Chuck assumes he is FutureDean and begins to speak with Dean about the logistics involved with running the survival camp (supplies and morale are low). They are interrupted by Risa, recently spurned by FutureDean. Dean takes the brunt of her wrath. He then seeks out Castiel. He finds him in the midst of making preparations for an orgy. Castiel immediately recognizes Dean as PastDean and correctly deduces Zachariah’s involvment. Dean demands that Castiel send him back to 2009, but Castiel explains that he’s pretty much human, now. The angels have abandoned the planet and, when they did, Castiel’s angelic power just kind of fizzled away. Left behind, Castiel has turned to a life of stoned debauchery. It’s a path that we saw the first glimmers of in the episode prior, and the fact that the show laid the groundwork for it in “Free to Be You and Me” makes Castiel’s debasement seem like a payoff rather than a joke. In the context of this episode, the prior episode makes more sense.

FutureDean returns back to camp and Dean witnesses him killing Yager, one of the men on his expedition, in cold blood. The other men see Dean, and FutureDean explains that it is a messed up situation. To Dean, FutureDean explains that Yager had been infected with the Croatoan virus while they were in the hot zone and that he would have started showing symptoms soon. It was a mercy killing, he claims. FutureDean explains to Dean that the prior night’s mission was successful: he shows the Colt to Dean. He tells Dean that obtaining the Colt took five years, but that now that he has it he will be killing the Devil.

FutureDean rallies his troops for a planning meeting. He explains that Lucifer’s location is known; having been determined by FutureDean through the torture of a demon. Lucifer is in the middle of a hot zone and it is not going to be an easy mission. FutureDean wants Dean to come, because he wants Dean to see what Sam has become. He explains to Dean that Sam said “yes” to becoming Lucifer’s vessel. He wants Dean to see this with his own eyes, so that Dean can do things differently. Specifically, FutureDean wants Dean to say “yes” to becoming Michael’s vessel, so that Michael can inhabit Dean and take out Lucifer before Lucifer can destroy the planet. Even though this will likely mean a battle that destroys half the world, FutureDean argues that “half a planet is better than none” and he tells Dean that he would do so himself were it still possible. Dean expresses his reluctance, perhaps realizing that FutureDean is asking him to do exactly what Zachariah is trying to convince him to do. He argues that there must be a different way. FutureDean explains “That’s what I thought. I was cocky. But I was wrong.” (As it turns out, FutureDean is right – Dean is cocky. He does think there is another way. When Zachariah returns him to 2009 at the episode’s end, he doesn’t learn his lesson. He doesn’t say “yes” to let Michael in, but he tries to find another way. That other way is reuniting with Sam).

The following morning, FutureDean and his crew drive out to the hot zone, Dean in tow. Dean and Castiel drive out together. Castiel explains to Dean that he went mortal, and is “practically” human. He has embraced the decadent world of women, wine, and drugs that Dean introduced him to at the brothel in the prior episode. As he explains to Dean, it is the end of the world, so why not. They reach the hot zone, where Dean questions FutureDean’s plan to conduct a frontal assault. FutureDean explains that while Castiel, Chuck, Risa, and the extras are going to go through the front (and die, as a diversion), he and Dean will slip through the back. This plan to sacrifice everyone does not sit well with Dean. The Deans fight, and FutureDean wins. Dean gets knocked out cold. When he awakens, the plan is already in action. He runs toward the tenement where Lucifer is holed up, and arrives in the courtyard there just in time to find FutureDean die under the bootheel of Lucifer, embodied within Sam.

Lucifer and Dean speak. Lucifer explains that his sin was loving God too much, and loving Earth too much. He couldn’t abide by God’s direction to love humans – ugly hairless apes – above all else. For that, God threw him out of Heaven. It’s an interesting play for sympathy, made more compelling by the fact that we humans have, in fact, really screwed up the planet. Dean, however, doesn’t buy it. He contends that Lucifer is no different than the other supernatural trash he is used to dealing with; Lucifer is scum like all the rest, just with a bigger ego. As they have their discussion, Lucifer fondles a red rose. Perhaps this is nothing significant, or perhaps it is a bit of a reference to the rose that grows in the vacant lot of Stephen King’s Dark Tower series. Dean and Lucifer are talking about choices, and realities, and fate, and – as Lucifer points out – no matter what, everything leads back to this confrontation. Lucifer tells Dean he will see him in five years. With that, he vanishes. As he does, Zachariah appears and zaps Dean back to 2009 with a touch.

Back in 2009, Dean asks Zachariah how he knows that all that he has been shown is the real future and not just some trick. Zachariah responds that the time for tricks is over. He implores Dean to say “yes” to Michael so billions need not die. Dean, cocky, says “nah.” Before Zachariah can attempt to school him again, Dean vanishes – summoned by Castiel for their morning appointment.

As a result of his experience in the future, Dean calls Sam and they reconcile. Dean returns Ruby’s knife to Sam. The episode concludes with a great exchange between the two brothers, where Sam’s response can be read two ways: Dean says “So now we make our own future,” to which Sam responds “I guess we have no choice.” Does Sam mean that they have no choice but to make their own future, or does he mean that they have no choice because the future is set in stone?

My score for this episode: 5 Metallicars.

__________

[1] History lesson, courtesy of Wikipedia (parts redacted):

Roanoke Island was the site of the 16th century Roanoke Colony, the first English colony in the New World. [The first attempt to settle Roanoke, in 1585, failed]. In 1587, the English again attempted to settle in Roanoke. John White . . . left the colony to return to England for supplies that he felt would help the colonists to survive, expecting to return to Roanoke Island within three months. Instead, he found England at war with Spain, and all ships were confiscated for use of the war efforts. His return to Roanoke Island was delayed until 1590. When he finally returned, the colonists had disappeared. The only thing he found were the letters “CRO” carved into a nearby tree and the word “CROATOAN” carved into a fencepost. Before leaving the colony for England three years earlier, White left instructions with the colonists that if they were forced to abandon their settlement on Roanoke, that they were to carve out the name of the place where they were going and a Maltese cross under the carving if they left due to danger.

“CROATOAN” was the name of an island to the south (modern-day Hatteras Island), where a friendly native tribe was known to live, and it was thus reasonable to assume that the colonists had left the Roanoke settlement bound for that island. However, foul weather would keep White from venturing south to search on Croatoan for the colonists, and they returned to England. White would never return to the New World. The fate of the colony has never been authoritatively ascertained, and consequently it became known as “The Lost Colony”.

Later, in 1880′s, a man living in North Carolina wrote about what the Natives looked like there. He wrote he noticed some had “fair skin and light eyes and hair, with Anglo bone structure.” These are not found among Native Americans normally, so some believe that the Roanoke colonists assimilated into the Croatoan Indian tribe.

[2] If FutureDean is in 2014, and the Croatoan virus took hold two years prior, then this would put Supernatural’s full-on apocalypse at approximately 2012 on the calendar; a date that coincides with the end-date of the Mesoamerican Long Count calendar. In recent years December 21, 2012 has been popularized as the next expected end of the world (Y2K having passed uneventfully). There’s even a new major motion picture called 2012 coming soon to a theater near you. It’ll be interesting to see if perhaps a later episode of Supernatural does anything with the 2012 meme – they’re certainly chronologically leaving the door open to do so if they like.