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Bet you thought this was a commercial about Scientology. No this is about something far worse to our world… the mobilization of old people. They cannot be allowed to twirl around in parks and office buildings all willynilly all over the place! We must stop them at their source. Cut off their telemaphone hands! And [...]

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I never got around to playing the first Fable for the original XBox. However, that didn’t stop me from picking up the anticipated sequel for the 360 and I’ve been making babies and orgies in my polygamous bisexual relationships ever since. There’s also some nonsense about story and choice and such, if you’re into that [...]

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I totally understand why these people are so frustrated. Being a giant myself, I often find myself in situations where I feel like Gandalf in Bag End. Or Chewbacca in a Jawa homestead. Or Grawp in a bottle of Polyjuice Potion. Okay, the last one was a stretch. Moral of the story? Don’t drink milk. [...]

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I know I’ve been gone a while, because I’ve been running for presdident of the world, but I’m here to send you guys a message. Don’t Vote. Jonah Hill told me so, and I’m here to tell you. Or if you do, make sure you do it while pooping. (This has the bad words in [...]

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This week is something a little more classic. This Maxell commercial goes out to my special TVZ crowd – my peeps – the youngens. This is the birth of cool. Y’know, after cool was born in Ferris Bueller, Shaft, The Fonz, Elvis, and Wilhelm Richard Wagner, but before… hmmm… Let me get back to you [...]

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This is pretty recent, and there’s a good likelihood that if you’re a Guitar Hero fan then you’ve probably already seen it, but I don’t care. Here it is. I have zero interest in the product and this is more of a short infomercial, but the man. He must follow me everywhere in life, and [...]

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This week is brought to you by Racism! Racism can be found all across the world at a retailer near you. Or at an auto dealer. Like this one… *sigh* White people…. Thanks to Chris Piers. Chris Piers is not a racist. Not that I know of…

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Continuing down the road of commercials for the Nintendo DS, we’ve got something special from New Zealand. This is how I’m treated when my girlfriend comes over to play Guitar Hero or Rock Band. Her: “Make me some chocolate milk.” Me: “But I don’t have milk and the only chocolate I have are these leftover [...]

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What’s sexier than a hot mom? A hot mom that plays video games. What’s sexier than a hot mom that plays video games? One who’s also rich and famous. FACT! Brunette version: Blonde version: Which hot mom do you find sexiest?

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