There’s three characters dying this week on Galactica — the titular ship, Sam Anders and Laura Roslin. The central theme of this penultimate story is that none of them are coming back from their fates. Galactica is literally falling apart, Anders is gone as a sentient being, reborn as the Galactica’s hybrid, and Laura Roslin is about to lose her long battle with breast cancer.

It’s pretty frakking depressing.

Meanwhile, Athena hates Helo for having sex with Boomer (more, probably, because he couldn’t tell the two 8′s apart, not because of the act itself), and Adama won’t let them take a Raptor out to find their daughter. It’s worth noting that Tahmoh Pinkett’s performance in this episode of Galactica puts his befuddled Dollhouse FBI agent to great shame. What a waste of a good actor.

Boomer continues to struggle with her choices, as wishy washy in evil as she was in anything else. She cannot bring herself to think of Hera as an object, and begins to try to make her feel better, perhaps like a kidnapper who begins to have delusions of closeness with her victim.

We learn that the Cylons have agreed to let Adama take military command of the rebel baseship in exchange for a seat on the new quorum. Yet Adama resists letting Galactica go. Just as he won’t believe that Roslin is really dying.

Baltar announces to the ship that their angels out there — the he see’s them — and that the angels can help them. We better get a more full explanation about the head characters than this.

More happens in the episode: a Six on work detail saves a bigoted human crew member, who then unsuccessfully tries to save her. The new quorum, made up of ship captains, wants to strip Galactica of all her supplies, just as Galactics stripped them of their supplies. Laura Roslin discovers that she never felt more at home than when she and Bill Adama were together in these past few desperate months. Lee reveals that he still loves Kara, though Kara doesn’t really return the feeling. And Baltar realizes that he still loves Caprica Six, even though it’s much too late for them to get back together.

Starbuck goes to Baltar to find out anything she can about her resurrection. Baltar runs some tests on the dogtags and wedding ring and discovers that it’s Starbuck’s blood — only it was her blood after she died. He reveals this to everyone at a funeral, basically announcing to the fleet that she’s Jesus Christ — the hope they all have for eternal life.

Cavil gets a hold of Hera at the creepy Cylon station called “the Colony.” She begs for Boomer to help her, and Boomer cries.

In the end, Adama starts painting his room with Cylon goop(?), and then throws a fit and starts chewing up the walls, even getting Cylon goop in his mouth. Luckily, director Edward James Olmos allowed that old guy who plays Adama to really bring the acting. This breakdown signifies his realization that Galactica is well and truly frakked.

The episode ends with Adama and Tigh together in his quarters, sharing a drink. Adama tells him that he’s cancelled the work crews and that they’re going to start transferring the crew off Galactica. Tigh is incredulous, but Adama has accepted it. The ship is dying and so is the show.

Let’s hope the final three hours make better use of their time than this one. I can see why the writers thought this one was necessary, but the show hasn’t been this pointless since before the mutiny. A lot of this could have compressed down in an episode that had real things happen. At least next week looks like Adama’s taking the ship and his crew on a one-way volunteers-only suicide mission against Cavil.

2.5 out of 5 chrome toasters.