It’s a week of returns. Pam is back and the world is right again. That is until it goes horribly wrong for Michael, because Toby is back from Costa Rica, (non)surprisingly. Apparently he’s been back at his old desk for the past two weeks and Michael had no idea.

Michael is not pleased in the least. He phones up David Wallace from corporate, but David just has a big fat “Oh Well” for him.

Pam’s return had climaxed in the last episode, and now she’s back in the groove of things. She does get a welcome back gift in the form of a messy microwave. It’s not just a few splatters. The thing looks like someone made with the diarrhea all over it. Like Michael’s reaction to Toby, she’s none too pleased either.

Jim has finally purchased his parents’ house… aaaaaand it’s a piece of crap. The front screen door doesn’t open all the way. The interior looks like the 70s threw up all over it. And frankly Jim looks like he just entered Bag End in Middle Earth.

Andy brought up the subject in the break room, without Pam there. Jim wants it to be a surprise and asks that everyone keep it to themselves. To which Andy ironically informs him that there are no secrets between him and Coward. Phyllis thinks it’s romantic until she learns that the house is down by the quarry. There’s an upside though, because Creed lives down by the quarry and now Jim has a friend in the area.

Later on in the kitchen, Pam has posted a lengthy note like a freshman in a college dorm, asking people to be respectful and whatnot. Everyone thinks it’s pretty obnoxious, even though they don’t know who posted it. Everyone except Coward.

Michael decides it’s time to do his best at containing his disdain towards Toby and try to have an actual conversation with him. He does pretty well, and it seems like it’s a normal talk for normal people. However, as it goes on, Michael can’t take it anymore. It’s too unbearable for him even though Toby isn’t doing anything to anger him. It’s killing him inside and he just walks away. Michael’s a regular Sidney Prescott. So, he goes with Plan B. Entrap Toby. He an Dwight concoct a scheme to catch him in the act of sexual harassment. Dwight decides to be the bait.

“It’s a good day, too. I’m wearing my mustard shirt.”

Michael gives him a little reality check, before they go with Pam. Michael gives her an inappropriate letter that would end oh so horribly if she didn’t go against Michael’s stipulation of not opening it while handing it over to Toby quietly.

In the back, Toby stumbles upon Ryan and Kelly making out like high school students. He asks if they want to see his photos from Costa Rica. I guess he really did eventually have a good time after his neck healed. Michael storms in before anyone can see them, swats the pictures to the floor, and tries to pick a fight with Toby. Toby’s not really having it, even though Kelly, Ryan, and Dwight are all egging him on. Somehow, if they did end up coming to fisticuffs, I think Michael would end up crying like a child. It’s probably for the best that his plan didn’t work. So, Plan C is devised by Dwight – to frame Toby with drugs. Michael knows just the place to get some, so he heads over to Vance Refrigeration and scores big time.

Meanwhile, Ryan gets the balls to go up to Pam and inform her that at the end of the day, someone is going to have to clean it up. She reminds him that it must be why they have a temp. Like a douche, he worms his way out of the conversation.

Michael makes the drop in Toby’s desk, while Dwight calls the police. They arrive and everything starts going according to plan. Dwight leads them back to Toby’s desk. Creed hides. Understandably, Toby starts getting defensive while one of the cops searches his stuff and the other questions him. Michael, strangely, is not enjoying any of it. He’s sees the full recourse of his actions. Perhaps he doesn’t hate Toby as much as he thought he did. Then they find the bag of weed. Things start getting crazy and Michael takes the blame for the weed. Rather, the bag of salad (still with chunks of cheese and tomato) that Michael paid $500 for. When things settle down, Toby asks why Michael would waste the cops’ time and the taxpayer’s dollar. Michael can’t believe that he’s even thinking about that when he should be worried about Michael framing him. Two seconds ago, Michael was willing to take the fall, then he’s right back to being annoyed by Toby and hating him again.

Ryan and Kelly are making out in the back again. Ryan pulls away and finally lays it down. He needs to go away, alone. He’s going to make a movie with Quentin Tarantino. I mean… he’s going on a trip with a bunch of high schoolers. So, that’s that. They’re done. But not before he gets in one last lay and takes some of her extra cash. Smooth.

After work, Jim takes Pam to his parents house. She’s so confused as to why they’re there, and then he reveals that this is their new home. Jim gives her the whole tour, with some jokes thrown in there. Pam’s look is strange and worrisome. This could be the thing they have a huge fight about, which inevitably breaks them up. Then, Jim brings her out to the garage and shows her the new art studio. It even has some of her art pinned up. He tells her that he knows it doesn’t look great, because the look on her face is still not comforting, and if she hates it, he’d totally understand. She interrupts him to tell him that she loves it. He bought her a house. It’s the biggest, sweetest gift she’s probably ever received, and she really does love it. Except they can’t sleep in his parents’ room.

You know a show is really special when it can still surprise you and make you laugh (and cry) after 5 years of being on the air. The Office is one of these shows and I really hope they can keep this up and try new ways of telling a story in a world where sitcoms have done it all. I admire what they are doing with Jim and Pam, and I think people are really missing the point of their relationship. They want that Ross-Rachel relationship, but in return they’re getting something more real. Something that isn’t the norm, but is completely normal. The Office is all about showing you normality through an outside perspective and how that normality is always a little off kilter. Fact is always stranger than fiction. I think in a few years, people will see the ingenuity that this show is full of. For the time being though, all you Jim/Pam haters can go watch reruns of Friends. I like the one where Phoebe runs weird.

4 and a half Dwigt Foreheads.