The episode begins with two bike messengers discussing the best way to get across town. “6th Ave is the best, dawg,” says one portly messenger. “No way, I take the parallel street by the Jackson building to avoid the - whoa!” The second messenger (with a spotty mustache) skids in the street and quickly directs his friend down an alley. A man in a suit is moaning and clutching at his stomache.

“Oh my God, call for help!” shouts Spotty Stache. “What happened man? Are you ok?”

“I… I was RAPED!” the man in the suit moans. He rolls over and we see that it is CAPTAIN CRAGEN! Boss of the SVU himself.

DONG! DONG!

After the opening credits, Capt. Cragen is getting dressed in a hospital room. The Medical Examiner of SVU, Dr. Melinda Warner, tells him that there was no blood or semen found in his rectum and that in fact all she found was lots of lube (very graphic even for SVU!) and a tiny heart shaped toy. Cragen thanks her for her discretion in not telling the rest of the SVU team about what happened to him, takes the bagged evidence and steps gingerly out of the room.

At the station, the cops are in an uproar. Our main heroes, Detectives Benson and Stabler have been tracking down what the papers are calling the “Cupid Rapist” who has been going around raping men. So far, they can’t find a pattern or an M.O. The only thing the victims have in common is that they are men, but they’re from all over NY and have all sorts of different jobs. One is even a hobo.

While the cops talk about different approaches, a crazy, wild-eyed man, played by actor Robert Guillaume (tv sitcom star from “Benson”), enters the station and shouts that he is the Cupid Rapist and begins throwing plastic hearts around. That’s enough to set Detective Stabler off and he leaps over his desk and begins pounding on Robert mercilessly. His partner, Benson, pleads with him to stop, but Stabler says that he “hates rapists!” Benson notices a photo fall out of Robert’s pocket of a little boy with a heart drawn around him. This is enough for her. She too begins kicking Robert Guillaume.

At this point, Detectives Tutuola (Ice-T) and Munch (Richard Belzer) pull Benson and Stabler away. Captain Cragen storms out of his office and says he ought to fire the two of them, but instead he’s going to put them on administrative leave. They better not make him regret his decision. He stares at Robert Guillaume, knowingly.

After the commercial, Robert (whose character is named David Friskerby) is sitting in the interview room. Tutuola begs Cragen to let him in there, he’ll make him talk. Cragen says no, he’s gonna do this one HIMSELF! Cragen gets some advice from their forensic psychiatrist, Dr. Huang (B.D. Wong). Huang says to try to be nice to him, and Cragen says that is clever and does in fact follow the advice. Cragen offers him water and band-aids and slowly gets Friskerby to open up. Eventually, he learns that Friskerby doesn’t know enough details about the rapes to be the perpetrator, but he still knows a lot. He has SOME sort of connection to the rapist.

Tutuola and Munch begin interviewing everyone Friskerby knows. His employer at a law firm, Francis Corder, is especially unhelpful. He refuses to help until they get a warrant. Munch has an idea. They decide to interview Friskerby’s neighbors. From that, they learn that Friskerby is a really nice guy and actually does pro bono work for an Anti-Rape group.

Tutuola goes undercover as a rape victim to the Anti-Rape group and learns that they have the names of all their victims on file in a certain database. That’s enough for them to get a warrant to investigate that evidence, but it still doesn’t seem to give them a suspect.

But from that evidence, Munch sees something funny. Another guy with the middle name Friskerby. It ends up being Friskerby’s estranged son, a bodyguard for rap star DA FLEX. His name is Johnny “Friskerby” Antores. When they go to interview Antores, he leaps out of his window and the chase is on. Tutuola jumps over cars, baby carriages and subway turnstiles and catches Antores just before he escaped on the subway.

They find that Antores was raped and also never connected with his real father, Friskerby. His LOVE was denied. They put the evidence together, only… something doesn’t quite fit. In a spectacular twist, Munch and Tutuola give one last lookover to Antores’ apartment.

“Hey! That couch is in the middle of the room instead of against the wall! That’s wasting space!” notices Tutuola.

“Not if you’re HIDING something!” says Munch.

They knock on the wall behind the couch and it opens, revealing a chart of all the rape victims. Only when they analyze it at the station, they realize it isn’t Antores’ handwriting - it’s DA FLEX’s!

The two detectives march into the middle of a performance in front of thousands and arrest the rapper rapist. Cragen, from the side of the stage, sheds a single tear. Justice has been served.

DONG! DONG!