No time for jokes. Just a flat out recap.

GIRTH

Autumn of Ned’s first year. The boys are in line to receive their mail from an old postmistress. Every week he hoped for a letter from home, but his father never sent anything.

One day before Halloween, he got a letter. He was stunned! It was a pre-printed card letting him know his father moved. Ned ran away, in costume, to see the new house. His father came out with two new sons and a new wife. He handed Ned, in his ghost costume, a candy bar and took his new family out trick or treating.

20 years later, at a horse stable a man is also feeling lonely and sad. A horserider rides up in the dark, scaring the man. The horse breathes fire, the man screams… and we’re at the Pie Hole.

Olive is telling Chuck how much Ned dislikes Halloween. Chuck knows Olive has met her aunts. Olive is gleefully taunting Chuck saying how they are sweet and would be even sweeter if they didn’t think Chuck was murdered. She didn’t tell them that Chuck faked her death.

Ned enters the Pie Hole and is terrified of the decorations. He quietly agrees to leave them up. Olive is glad to tell Chuck that she knows Ned better than she does. And also she knows Chuck better than Ned does. Olive celebrates by jumping on her bed. The tv is on and the news talks about the death of the lonely man at the stable, a blacksmith. Olive seems upset.

Ned and Chuck are cooking. Halloween is Chuck’s favorite holiday and wants to know why Ned doesn’t like it anymore. He avoids by wondering where Olive is. Chuck imagines her telling her aunts about her being alive to which the aunts heads explode. Chuck doesn’t reveal to Ned why she seems upset.

Olive opens a door and takes out a trophy and bag of money.

Emerson is at the Pie Hole and Olive wants to hire him to figure out why the blacksmith was trampled. Olive was a competitor with him. She used to be a professional horse jockey, to which Em can’t stop laughing.

For 8 years Olive had been a jockey and was the best. Lucas Shoemaker, the blacksmith, was also a great jockey.

Em, Ned and Chuck investigate Lucas’ trampled body at the morgue. Ned confirms he was trampled by a horse after waking him. He can barely talk but Chuck understands him from having to wear orthodontic headgear for 3 years during puberty. She had good teeth, but her aunts made her wear it as a form of birth control. Lucas says John Joseph Jacobs killed him, except… he’s dead. Lucas saw him die 7 years ago. Lucas believes John’s ghost killed him.

Chuck is explaining to Em and Chuck at the Pie Hole, that ghosts are believed to come in all sorts of forms, not just “disembodied sea captains”. Ned doesn’t believe in ghosts even though he has magic powers. Chuck reveals Ned used to believe and once peed his pants in fear of her aunts’ haunted house. He pets Digby with a wooden hand.

Em asks Olive if she knows the name John Joseph Jacobs. Once Em tells her Lucas says it was his ghost, she faints. Ned decides to check out the stables for clues. Chuck teases him asking if he’ll look for protoplasm, but he says he’ll look for real clues. They flirt to Emerson’s eternal consternation. Ned passes Chuck off on Emerson, for reasons he won’t explain. Chuck tells him, angrily, that she’s going to check the stables out herself instead.

The Narrator tells us that JJJ had been the supreme jockey of the world. He came to an ultimate race but fell and was trampled by the other riders, including Olive. She retired the next day and locked up her trophy and money. Olive and Emerson are conversing at a bar. Em suspects an angry gambler is after the other racers. The barkeep tells Em that “his kind” isn’t welcome. When Emerson is about to punch the guy, he draws a shotgun and makes him read the sign over the bar – it’s a jockey bar, and anyone over 60 inches tall isn’t welcome. A drunk man at the end of the bar warns them that JJJ is a ghost that can’t be stopped. He is out for revenge. The bartender says the only thing that the ghost is killing is his business, but the drunkard tells them that JJJ’s tomb is broken, because he’s always climbing in and out. Olive is totally spooked.

Olive and Em check out his tomb and the lid is broken. Olive says maybe JJJ had faked his death, but Em says no one ever does that. Olive goes on and on about how they do, obviously complaining about Chuck. Em pries open the lid and Olive makes as though she can move the lid. She’s way too small. Emerson opens the lid and there’s a horse skull inside.

Chuck and Digby are investigating the stables at night. Chuck says that since they’re the walking dead, only other people should be scared. She is then scared but it’s only Emerson. He reveals that there was a legless skeleton in the tomb and Olive knows she’s dead. Chuck says Olive only thinks she faked her death and that’s different. Emerson says “different like purple and mauve.” Chuck mutters about how this is what Ned had been afraid of, and wonders if he’s ok.

Across town, Ned thinks back to his childhood on that fateful Halloween night. Ned ran away, back to his old house, but his old bed wasn’t there. He and Digby, both dressed as ghosts, slept there and for 20 years, he came back and slept there, with the candy bar his father had given him. Adult Chuck wakes up to see the Aunts across the street chasing off kids.

Olive joins Em and Chuck to talk to the next jockey in the race. Olive compares finding the house to finding the house of a wicked witch in a forest. Chuck continues the analogy to say that whenever you do something evil, like tell a secret, you get punished for it and “bang, you’re dead.” Olive retorts, “Or bang, you fake that you’re dead.” Em has had enough and says, “Or Bang, you both go wait in the car.”

An old lady opens the door and recognizes Olive from her horse-racing days. It’s JJJ’s mother. She’s a bit spacey, dedicating her house to her son’s wins. She says that since Olive stayed single and the rest of the racers became drunks, it made life easier and she’s found some measure of peace. Olive asks how she knows she’s still single. “You wouldn’t need all that bait, if your belly were full of fish, dear,” says the lady, as a dig on what Olive’s wearing.

Emerson comments on a big trophy on the mantle. The lady reveals that it’s her son’s ashes. She buried his horse in his tomb, as JJJ had wanted. His mother had done that in secret. Olive reveals she never spent the winnings, and always felt bad. JJJ’s mom says she doesn’t blame her.

The three leave, and Olive thinks JJJ’s ghost won’t stop and feels the woman still wants revenge even though she forgave Olive. Olive worries about Pinky, the bartender. Pinky is sweeping the bar when there’s a knock at the door, but they’re closed. Pinky turns around and the horserider is there in the bar and runs at him.

Ned has visited Lily and Vivian. The neighborhood children are scared of them, that they are witches who turn children into birds. It doesn’t help Ned’s fear when their parrot squawks that they’ve turned him into a bird. He asks if they remember his father. Vivian talks about how well he kept his lawn, but Lily is more to the point. “He was a jackass.” She talks about how terrible he was and that he did them all, including Ned, a favor when he moved away.

Ned takes a bite of the pie they are sharing and gags. The strawberry is completely rotten, which means he must have touched it before. He asks where they got that pie. The aunts say it’s been delivered every week. He figures out that Chuck has been sending them, but tells them he has been sending it. He then excuses himself. Vivan confirms that his father was a jackass. Ned knows but wonders why he still misses him. Vivian lets him know that he turned out to be a wonderful boy and gives him a peck on the cheek. Ned smiles and lets her know he’ll keep the pies coming. The Narrator informs us that Ned now missed something else – his present.

At the bar, Chuck, Emerson and Olive are checking out Pinky’s trampled body. Ned arrives and Chuck says she missed him. Em tries to hurry this all up. Chuck escorts Olive outside so that Ned can revive Pinky. He does and Pinky says he needs a drink. Em pours some into his trampled face. Pinky says it was JJJ’s ghost. He also reveals that he fixed races, including the one Olive won. He has kept a secret but the minute is up and they can’t find out what it was. Ned and Emerson lie to Olive that he had briefly revived to tell them what they now know.

The Narrator informs us that “the facts were these:”. In the big race, Pinky, Lucas, Olive and another jockey, Gordon (the drunk) all met after the accident because they knew one of them had cut JJJ’s saddle. They all vowed to destroy the evidence and keep a secret (Olive very reluctantly). Chuck says that sometimes you have to keep a secret, even if it means hurting somebody. Exactly, agrees Olive. Drat, now she understands Chuck’s position. Emerson says someone wants revenge because they found out about the secret or knew about it all along. Olive says she didn’t do it and Gordon certainly didn’t.

Chuck believes it’s a ghost who wants to move on. Ned tells Olive to keep her windows closed and doors locked. Chuck and Ned tell each other to be careful. Chuck stays with Olive. They are both scared. They decide to have a drink. Olive goes for her booze in her bedroom. There is a horseshoe on the window sill. Chuck goes to find her and the window is open. Olive climbs to the roof with the horseshoe and sees someone. “It is you…” she breathes.

“John Joseph Jacobs!… It’s really you?” asks Olive. Then he gets hit in the head with something. Chuck has climbed up the roof behind Olive. Olive says the horseshoe was something she gave to JJJ just before the race. JJJ gets up and Olive says he should be dead… and two feet shorter.

The Narrator: The facts are these. JJJ had indeed died on the track that day, but was revived by the paramedics. His legs had been shattered, but the doctors used his horse’s legs. He heard them all through his mother’s vent. He’s been living in his mother’s basement. He hasn’t been trying to kill anyone. He figured it was an honest accident and put it behind him. It took him years to complete the surgery and learn to walk again. He says it’s his choice to live in his mom’s birthday, but Olive and Chuck know he’s super-shy and tell him he looks great and hey, he beat death “Yay!” so he owes it to himself to get back out there and live. He agrees! The girls offer to help him talk to his mother and give him a ride home.

They get to his mother’s house and he says his mom’s still out. He says they’re out of crackers, and that he gets crazy if he can’t have them. For some reason this alarms Chuck. JJJ says he’s got more downstairs. Chuck reveals that there have been crackers at all of the murder scenes. Olive pries open the urn but there ARE ashes in there. Also, his nameplate from his saddle. “He does know!” The front door is knocked down by the firebreathing horse and rider.

Gordon is being driven by Ned and Chuck and is drunk. He reveals that he had one day apologized to JJJ’s mother and even brought the ashes of the saddle to prove what had happened.

The rider takes off her mask and it’s JJJ’s mother. She figures everyone murdered her son’s career. She gallops after Olive and Chuck, who run into the woods behind the house. Ned and Chuck arrive and hear them running in the woods. Chuck trips but Olive helps her limp away. The rider gains on them. Olive won’t let Chuck get hurt since it’s only her that Mother Jacobs is after. She says, “Tell Ned I love… his pies.” Olive runs out and calls for attention. Ned grabs her out of the way at the last moment and Emerson knocks the rider off the horse. Olive kisses Ned. Chuck sees them and Ned drops her. She placed second.

Mama JJJ ends up in jail. Olive gives JJJ her trophy and prize money. Ned explains to Chuck that he had had to see a ghost. His former life. He also knows about the pies she’s been sending to her aunts but isn’t mad. He understands. He lets her knock on her aunts front door to trick or treat in a ghost costume. It’s 2 am so Lily has her gun, but Vivian has candy and happily gives it out. The end.